I ponder the prospect of turning sixty next year. My life, my mortality, my existence is coming into focus. This is no longer a rehearsal for what I will do when I grow up. This is it. This is my life. How I put one foot in front of another every day is how I lead my life. There is no escape. I am here. Now. I am responsible for the over fullness I feel when I eat too much. I am responsible for seeing my life as a rehearsal, instead of the real thing. I am responsible for the judgments I make. I am responsible for focusing on the shadows rather than the light that creates them. I am responsible for every particle of my existence. Every step, every breath, every thought. It is up to me to appreciate and experience, or not. It is up to me to choose to be awake and alive in every instant, or not.