I won't be a stock character in the play of life

I won't be a stock character in the play of life

I am developing a growing interest in the weekly Sunday column of Janice Kennedy in the Ottawa Citizen. I happened upon her article this past weekend titled A religious life, as Jesus knew, is a life of peace It speaks to a regularly heard theme; How does someone reconcile celebrating Christ, the Prince of Peace, during this holiest of times, while simultaneously calling for war in distant lands? She picks on the usual punching bag, George Bush, in this regard.

Digging a little deeper, I found her column I won't be a stock character in the play of life of the previous week to be equally interesting. There is a certain freshness and appeal about someone who, while making clear her liberal and feminist take on issues, also knows that perspective, when not acknowledged, can cloud how she sees others.

The world is not black and white, left and right, anti or pro. It is a mosaic. When engaging in discourse, whether in the broadest of spheres, or, one on one, it is so important to know where you are standing in the forest. Are those with whom you are speaking standing in the hot sun or are those trees offering shade? Maybe they like it hot, but, then again, maybe not. Perhaps that is why they are squirming, or, impatient.

I always need to remind myself to listen, really listen, to what the other person is saying. I need to listen intently not only to the words, but, more importantly, to the context of those words. They have a reason for saying what they do. If I develop an appreciation of the reason, the meaning of the words becomes much clearer. Part of communication is coming to an understanding of those reasons through open discourse. It is perhaps an overused quote since being popularized again by Al Gore, but, it is worth repeating:

It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends on him not understanding it. ~Upton Sinclair

People are willing to risk communicating more openly when they feel respected. They usually are more receptive to allowing their ideas to be challenged when they feel safe as a person. Perhaps this is what has happened in the break down of communication that has been making news recently in the brittle discourse between the Federal Finance Minister and the Provincial Government of Ontario. They have stopped respecting each other, and subsequently, they have stopped listening. Each vainly attempts to score points, while they learn little if anything from each other.

I remember several years ago catching the last few minutes of a documentary being aired on TVO. A rich baritone voice was speaking about aspirations of people the world over, as a panoramic view of a variety of communities, rich and poor, third world and first world, unfolded.

"All anyone wants", the voice intoned, "when you look around you, is a safe place to raise their children, a place where they know that parents can age with dignity and grace. That is really all any of us really wants, wherever we are, whatever our station in life."

And isn't that so true? Once you strip away all of the extraneous trappings of life that our hyper-consumer driven society encourages us to seek, what we really want is a safe place to call home for our family. What we incessantly debate are the finer details of how to make it happen.

This is why, in the midst of all the discord we may see around us, it is so important that we find ways to discover what brings us together, as opposed to what separates us. Disagree with the ideas, but offer respect to those whom you disagree with.

Yes, I admit it, I think the ideas of the Harper Conservative government are heading us in the wrong direction. I think that they will reduce the opportunity for everyone to have a safe place to call home. I think they will increase disparity, not reduce it and their approach perpetuates the rich getting richer at the expense of the poor. In my view, they are too attached to the concept of ever expanding economic growth that as if by magic will allow all of this "wealth" to ultimately trickle down to those less fortunate.

Alternatively, I believe that we have reached our "Limits to Growth" on a planetary scale. Encouragement of over consumption has just about squeezed that trickling spigot shut. We are seeing this now as we witness climate change, environmental degradation and dwindling access to life-sustaining resources such as food, water and arable land.

Should I then, stop listening to them? Should I write them off as unhelpful participants in community dialog? As tempting as that can feel sometimes, (and so does pulling the covers over head in the morning when I hear the wind whistling outside), I ultimately view such an approach as counter productive. This is when I need to challenge myself to listen, while respectfully dissecting those ideas with which I do not agree.

I seek to understand how they arrived at their conclusions, while simultaneously sharing my perspective. I want us to find our common ground. The best way for me to do that is to be part of encouraging dialog. I also readily admit that I am often not up to the task. However, when we continue to shout at each other disrespectfully, nothing changes. We go to our chosen corners, pointing fingers at each other while we plan our next move to win the argument. In the meantime, the planet, the home we all seek to share, is lost.

Religion, Faith, and Other Sensitive Concepts

Although ostensibly raised in a traditional "Anglican" home, I was never inculcated with any particular faith as a child. God was a non-subject as I grew up, at least in my home. I essentially viewed it as one more subject of study, which I did, taking a survey course on religion and ethics offered by the Department of Religion at Queen's University while I was an undergraduate.

During my early twenties I developed an abiding interest in Buddhism, and have written about it previously. I cultivated a fond appreciation of its non-theistic approach to explaining reality. It spoke to my search for a sense of moral compass without insisting that I accept any particular dogmatic preaching. I realized that I could be "moral" without the requirement of "faith".

Just a couple of weeks ago I picked up an interesting textbook during one of my regular prowls through my neighbourhood Sally Ann. Titled simply "World Religions - Western Traditions", it is edited by Willard G. Oxtoby and first published in 2002. Some of it I find tedious, as I can't always follow the various names and tribes that are mentioned. (Will I ever understand the diference between the Kenites, the Kenizzites and the Kadmonites?) However, much of it is quite enlightening, as history.

I was reading this book this past weekend as I traveled by bus back from Toronto. A young man sat next to me, and we soon struck up a conversation. He was immediately curious about my reading material, particularly fascinated in that it covered his own religion, Islam. I conveyed how I was learning more about how Jews, Christians and Muslims all prayed to the same God, that they were all "of the book".

The conversation then turned to the question of my own "faith". A peaceful smile came over his face as he told me how important it was for Jews, Christians and Muslims to appreciate how their faiths are inextricably linked through God. Apparently, he had assumed I was Christian. I mentioned my interest in Buddhist philosophy, but decided I didn't want to delve more deeply into the issue. At this point I reminded myself of another chat I had had with a Muslim acquaintance, who was quite shocked and distraught when he heard that I didn't actually believe in a supreme being. "You must believe in God!" he exclaimed, incredulously. The term "non-theistic" had no place in his reality. It was only the intervention of our mutual friend that directed the discussion to safer ground.

I tell this story because for me it relates to how sensitive many of us are about the issue of faith and religion. It clearly touches deeply within the core of many. I mean no disrespect to others when I reject the concept of religious or spiritual "faith" in a "higher power" or "supreme being". I simply don't have it.

For some, it seems that being without "faith" is equivalent to being without morals or direction. If I don't believe in God, I must be misguided and lost. From the perspective of many, I need to be saved. Well, I don't feel lost at all, thank you very much. I may have more questions than answers, but I actually think that is a very healthy way to engage in the world. I view questions of ethics and morality as fundamental to every step I take on this planet. I may not always make the correct choices, but I question my behaviour every day on issues that matter.

I usually find myself shying away from discussing this topic, particularly with my friends who "believe", largely out of fear of being disrespectful of their "faith". I do not wish to be shy about this any longer. I find it so curious how over countless centuries humanity has developed its entire belief structure on a collection of stories handed down, re-interpreted and re-transcribed over time based on dreams and visions described by a handful of influential and perhaps unusual individuals 2-3,000 or more years ago. We argue incessantly over the correct interpretation of our daily news, yet Christians, Jews and Muslims accept on "faith" what has been passed on in their various holy books over a millennia or more. We then proceed to kill each other over conflicts between these various interpretations of who "God" gave or did not give some land to, or who he holds in highest esteem. Incredible. And to think we call ourselves civilized.

When I read, for example, the story of Abram's conversation with God in Genesis 17 it is just that; A Story. It, and the rest of the Book of Genesis tells a fascinating tale, but I don't believe for a minute that it in anyway relates to real conversations that someone had with "God" or with the beginnings of the universe. God didn't create the universe in seven days a few thousand years ago. People were not visited by "Angels" nor have conversations with "God". They had dreams, quite powerful and perhaps really scary dreams, but dreams nonetheless. Being good story tellers, and quite likely influential members of their respective communities, they were able to weave such experiences into a developing belief structure as to the nature of the universe. They sought a way to explain the unexplainable. Bertrand Russell describes it well in Proposed Roads to Freedom:

What a man believes upon grossly insufficient evidence is an index into his desires — desires of which he himself is often unconscious. If a man is offered a fact which goes against his instincts, he will scrutinize it closely, and unless the evidence is overwhelming, he will refuse to believe it. If, on the other hand, he is offered something which affords a reason for acting in accordance to his instincts, he will accept it even on the slightest evidence. The origin of myths is explained in this way.

I have dreams every night. I always feel that I have a much more refreshing sleep when I know that I have been dreaming. It is an important means by which I work out the trials and tribulations of my day. Through my lifetime, I have experienced a handful of powerful, emotion laden dreams, some of which I have retained as a conscious memory. At no time, however, did it occur to me that I was in conversation with God or any other ephemeral being.

In Biblical times though, that was the standard interpretation given. Dreams were seen as messages coming from beyond the mortal world. God, angels or the devil were speaking to us. What other explanation could there be?

Emotional experiences really do have the feeling of touching us in our "core". We physically feel it. Who hasn't woken up from a powerful dream, shaking or sweating? When afraid, we may often feel the hair stand up on the back of our neck. Others around us may view it happening. We feel the "knot" in our stomach and physical observation can readily detect these subtle yet very real changes in our body chemistry. Powerful? Most certainly. God tapping on our shoulder or the Devil whispering in our ear? I think not.

The explanations offered for these very real and powerful experiences three thousand years ago made sense in the context of the time. They do not make the same kind of sense today.

I am attracted to and interested in all religions for the moral teachings they have to offer. Being without religious faith should not be seen as justification for immoral behaviour.

...to be continued.